Each Lenten season folks commit to giving something up as an act of sacrifice to God. This sacrifice serves to symbolize the sacrifice Jesus made on Good Friday by dying on the cross for our sins. Many commit to giving up such things as soft drinks, candy, desserts, french fries, meat, TV, social media, alcoholic beverages, cursing, etc. All mainly external acts that for the most part are manageable (I speak from experience.). However, to be honest, I really have never seen how this impacts us from a spiritual development. We are good a letting something, but oftentimes, we never seem to pick something up like, more time spent reading the bible, praying to God, serving others, spending quality time with family, personal enrichment, etc.
This Lenten season I decided that what I needed to sacrifice from needed to have a direct connection to strengthening my spiritual development and personal relationship with God - my focus needed to be less on giving up a food or drink, and more on an attitude - my attitude as it pertains to how I perceive, receive and act within various times of uncertainty, unknowns, and pain. I have struggled to break the spirit of fear and anxiety that to be honest has been passed on to me generationally. As strong as I am, I am just as fearful. This polar attitude within my faith walk is contradictory and confusing. So, I vowed to commit to be more intentional in how I respond to negative, unfair or uncertain scenarios that life offers with more faith and less fear and doubt.
Well (my transparent moment), over the past two weeks, I have failed. I started having doubt in a situation, self-doubt in my ability, worry about an outcome, depressive feelings because of a bad experience, negative words and thoughts because of an argument. Yep, I failed.
But, thanks be to God! I am so grateful to God that He didn't leave me in that space. Between the message I received from Joel Osteen's (@JoelOsteen) sermon on Sunday, the Sunday sermon preached at my church by Rev. Jazz (@iamdrjazz) and Joyce Meyer's (@JoyceMeyer) message Monday morning, "Overcoming Fear and Doubt" that I watched throughout the entire day/evening to keep me focused, I am back on track!
I am recommitted to pray with more boldness, proclaim/praise God with more consistency, and push out feelings and thoughts that conflict with God's promise the second it enters my spirit.
Quick Testimony: Questions I had for God through prayer last night were answered this morning. That alone shows me God is taking me through a process and hasn't left me just because I failed my fast. My fast continues and I am more determined to stay focused on God, believe his promise and will "doubt my doubt" as Joyce says. Doubt serves to confuse, faith serves to clarify. This Lenten season is more personal than ever before. God is breaking, building and preparing me and you for a liberating and victorious new life in Christ and for the world.
So today I strive to stay focused. #joinme
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