When Comfort Becomes Confining

Everyone should be familiar with the Peanuts character Charlie Brown, created by cartoonist Charles Schultz. Charlie Brown’s best friend was Linus. Linus carried around with him a security blanket. No matter where he went, the blanket went. It was Linus’ covering, his security, sometimes even his source of strength.

In a totally different genre, specifically music, many who are old enough to recall first hand and others who are connoisseurs of soul, recall The Godfather of Soul, James Brown and his infamous performances that often, if not always culminated with him walking across the stage to exit. You will also recall that while walking across stage he would be draped with a cape which theatrically slowed down his performance, if for a moment, because once he reached the end of one side of the stage, he would inevitably muster up new strength, fling off the cape and perform with greater energy and life, to a charged up crowd.

I have painted these two contrast pictures describing a form of covering to illustrate the tension I have been feeling, but have not be able to fully describe until recently. But, before I go there, allow me one more illustrative example.

This one is the fable of the boiling frog. The premise as stated in Wikipedia, is that if the frog is placed suddenly in a pot of boiling water, it will jump out. However, if the water is lukewarm when placed in the pot, it will not detect danger and remain in the water while it is slowly brought to boil which will eventually cook the frog. Wikipedia explains, “The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to or be aware of sinister threats that arise gradually rather than suddenly.” Now, modern day biologist say that although the premise is true, a frog will eventually jump out when they feel the change in temperature. I would call it self preservation.

Okay, now we can get started. For a good while I have felt stuck - physically, emotionally, logistically, creatively, relationally, mentally, financially and spiritually. I have sought ways to describe, discard, dismiss, dismiss, distinguish, release, rebuke, reset, recharge, extract, explain, explore, express, pray, pry, plead, push out, press pass...I think you get it. It’s been frustrating to experience, and even more frustrating trying to express. Therapy has helped me explore each piece of my “stuckness”. Through my sessions, I have felt some level of release and new traction has occurred - a praise goes here! However, here I am still feeling residue from some, and the heavy adhesive from most areas of my life and a sister is over it. I am less then two years from 50, and I am declaring that my latter WILL be greater then my former days. And, that is a declaration because a lot of my former days were some amazing times...good, bad, crazy and ALL memorable. So, the latter must possess greater, better and complimentary to my now and next. This “stuckness” is stalling it.

Well, after a few recent conversations with some dear friends, who are deeply invested in their relationship with me and have a directline to God, I have been able to articulate through visualization what I have been experiencing and man has it been liberating. It has also given me a point, a place from which I can start to shimmy myself out of this “stuckness” and begin sashaying my way into life.

I have had a security blanket, my beautiful home, for over 12 years. When I moved and didn’t know anyone, I created, with intentionality a sancuturary for me. Once back from travel for work or while in town working, my home became my retreat, my safe place, my security blanket. However, like the frog placed in a lukewarm pot, the feeling of comfort from my surroundings began to confine and cook me - enter “stuckness”. It didn’t happen all at once. I mean, it has taken years, and various people who knew and know know me, to see and say it. But, yet, I couldn’t stop it. The comfort created a fear to explore. Which is CRAZY, because my passion to explore and leap taking before the net appeared is how I moved to a new city in the first place. My faith walking is how I quit my job over 14 years ago, with a new car note, a mortgage and no clients, to start my own public relations firm. Where is THAT Monica? My dear friend Michelle, who’s home with the Lord now, once walked in my house and before I could say hi, she was asking, “Where is Mo?”, “What have you done with my friend?” She was speaking about how I was dressed. According to her, I had lost my edge. My style was gone. I looked homily. She literally dragged me into my closet and ordered me to find something else to wear that she approved represented her Mo. I did.

Yes, where is Mo? The chick who had no fear of how the universe would respond to her next move. And, definitely didn’t get caught up wondering what folks thought or said about her. Like the frog, the pleasant place has gradually become uncomfortable. Just when it appears the performance, my passionate performance is nearing the end and my security blanket, turned heavy weight over my shoulders is ushering me towards stage left, I press pause and pray. And, then, just like James Brown, I rise up, throw off the heavy cape and race back to center stage, grab the mic and bellow out my next performance with greater passion, confidence, clarity, initentionality and energy.

The comfort season served a purpose. I failed to discern its expiration, which created a confining and confusing condition. But, God! I am finally able to articulate what I have been feeling and, as James Brown would say, “I feel good!”

Today's MoMoments: Patience and Faith

Lately, I have been in a season of retreat, reflection and reposition. I don't know if it's due to the holiday season, the ending of another year, a remembrance of how I started off the year, my own personal and professional hang ups, or ALL the above. 

What I do know is my spirit has paused and is processing. My tolerance, once stretched is now strained. My acceptance of any and everything has exited. In addition, my desires are increasing and my purpose is becoming more passion-driven. 

Last night a dear mentor of mine asked me how well have I married my patience with my faith? And I said wow! I had no other reply. They went on to quote James 1:4, "But let patience have HER perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." (KJV) 

They then said, with patience taking on the feminine role and faith the masculine role there needs to be a marriage of the two if this faith walk is to be fully experienced. They must be properly and proportionately married in order for there to be no lack. That stuck with me all last night and this morning. And, while writing out my thoughts, an a-ha moment or "MoMoment" if you will occurred. The lack presently in my life is in my faith to believe that what God said will be, will be. The other lack in my life is the patience to allow the time needed to take place in order for God's promises to come to pass. 

This morning, after reading @JoelOsteen's devotional, "What are you considering?". Osteen spoke about Abraham and how, although the promise God gave him may have appeared impossible due to his age, he didn't focus on his current reality, but rather on a God that can do all things. That's when the truth became clear. My patience and faith is not equally yoked. They are in a state of conflict rather than compliment. They are causing confusion instead of clarity. They are making me feel unease instead of contentment, calm, confidence and certainty. 

Another mentor/spiritual mother asked me where is home? Meaning, where do I find peace, solace, joy, comfort, etc. I couldn't answer her. Knowing what she was asking me is part of what I've been retreating to find. Then she said, Jeremiah 29:11 is real. What I got from that is that I can find my home there, my contentment there, my peace there, my companion there, my joy there, my faith there.

So, whatever created the lack in my patience and faith is not important. For now I see them both with a new perspective and purpose. And I stand strong in saying that the desires of my heart both personally and professionally will be perfect and complete, in God's ordained time. 

As for right now, I lack nothing because my patience and my faith have been rightly joined together. Let nothing come between them. Amen. 

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Today's MoMoment's: Morning Jolt of Truth

Late start but my spirit is still filled by revelations from a conversation last night and the confirming message by Bishop Jakes on, "The Giants are at the Gate" that I watched, late last night. It's the season for the weights to fall off, the weariness to be shaken up, the internal fullness of wanting to live the full truth, and the unashamed and overwhelming desire to take hold of the future. But, it can't happen by being passive, inconsistent, preoccupied with man's approval/affirmation and fearful. As my friend said last night, "it's not time to just put the turn signal on, it's time to make a sharp right, on two wheels confidently towards change and completion". Playtime must be over, because time is ticking and it can never be repeated. Yes, God does offer restoration. And that's what I'm praying for in the recognition of the time I've wasted standing in the shadow of so many things (professionally and personally). This is my morning jolt of truth and motivation. There's only one chance to unpack all that's inside of me and you. Let's go get it! Make a move forward Mo! #joinme

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I Am a Walking Bible

You know today someone said or rather described me as being a "walking bible". I didn't know how to receive that. I instantly felt convicted because I know me (being transparent). I thought, wow, THEY don't know me. I was like, wow what pressure to place on me...I make and will make mistakes. We ALL do. So don't go and place me on some pedestal just to push me off the moment you find a flaw, is what I was thinking. But, then I paused and processed. I began to realize that although it might have been a possible compliment in their mind, they didn't understand what they were really saying. And, so yes, I actually am a walking bible. I, am all of the stories found in the bible of falling & forgiveness, sin & salvation, despair & deliverance, shamed & saved, judged & justified, defeated & delivered, excluded & embraced, victimized & valued, persecuted & promoted, ignored & influential, embarrassed & empowered, liar & liberator, cheater & compassionate, and most of all redeemed by the blood of the lamb. I had never ever heard someone describe me that way before and I had never ever thought of myself, my life, my path, my pains, my progress, my journey in such a way until today. It was actually an a-ha moment. And, one I am still processing as I share with you. 

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Today's MoMoments: Reflection and Resolve

Today is a time of reflection and resolve. I reflect on the messages, mistakes, memories and motivators of yesterday. I reflect on the conversations, conflict, compassion, consideration, choices and challenges experienced yesterday. I reflect on the loss, longing, laughter, love, lament and learnings embraced yesterday. 

Now...I resolve to revisit yesterday long enough to reengage, reignite, reinsert, readjust, reinstitute, recharge, redirect, remind, restore, repeat, reject, respect, reassign, reassure and reinforce the areas that will directly impact my momentum. Today, I resolve to remain confidently centered on what is most important to my progression. Today, I resolve to operate in a #stateofM where my mind, mood and motion feels free to just be while embracing what is. 

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Today's MoMoments: Season and Timing

Today, the words season and timing are running through my spirit. This weekend stands as the unofficial start of the Summer season. Its a season normally where things bloom, blossom and bear fruit. This time of year is captured on our calendar, the Gregorian Calendar or Civil Calendar (Months/Number of Days). 

This calendar helps us stay on a corporate schedule, which is important. However, it is not the only calendar that tends to get our focus or where we create our schedule (both personal and professional). Many, if not most, also pay attention to a calendar that has either been thrusted upon us by society or family standards or even by our personal timeline or a plain spirit of comparison/competition. You know that calendar, it gives the unofficial timing for when you should be married; when you should have children; when you should start or complete that degree (high school, college or advanced); when you should get the first job; when you should retire; and I could go on. I have no clue of the origin of this type of calendar, but I know its roots run deep and its impact/influence both good and bad are always present. And, unlike the Gregorian Calendar, where the months and days will never change or have an impact, except for that one additional day that comes around to sync up our seasonal year (called Leap Year), this calendar comes with some unrealistic pressures, expectations and a whole lot of self-defined/created judgement. Let me make it plainer, "I am 30 and I thought by now I would have been married like my girlfriends" or, "I had to start working right after high school to support my mother and now I'm 45, its too late to go to college" or, "Isn't 60 too old to start a business? I should be planning for retirement." Again, I could go on. 

The question I pose both to myself and society is, who made us timekeeper? Why has such a calendar become so important, that we find ourselves sometimes passing judgement, feeling disdain, giving pity, having envy or struggling with jealousy? God shares, throughout the Bible, where men and women accomplished much in various seasons of their lives. A nation was birthed through Abraham and Sarah who became parents way after "child-bearing" years. David was able to kill Goliath as a teenage boy when grown men failed to do so. The woman at the well became an evangelist after having committed adultery and having a questionable past. And, again, I could go on. Their seasons were not dictated upon an astronomical calendar. The timing of their great moment or fulfilled purpose and promises didn't occur based on when man or even themselves believed it should happen. 

Both season and time was determined by God and for God's purpose and plan, not just for them in that moment but for the world in moments yet to come. So, I challenge each of us to pay attention to the month and date solely for corporate order, but don't focus on it or the one man tries to hold us to with the same respect. You know, that calendar that seeks to determine where we should be in life, what we should be doing with our lives, how far we should have gone in our lives, or any other man-made or self-made pressures, expectations and judgements. God has a special season in each of our lives and His timing is never unofficial or needing an extra day to sync up. It's always officially on time and syncs up for the right season and reason. 

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Today's MoMoments

When your current reality conflicts with your promised future, what do you do? Pray for patience, peace and perseverance. Although nothing in your present is showing that what you know to be promised in your future will be, don't allow it to persuade you to panic or jump the path. It ain't easy. But nothing that God is preparing you for is minor in impact or influence, so He must instill in you much so you are able to fully embrace and enjoy your new season. Weeping may be happening now, but joy is around the corner. Hold on. It's not the time to give up. Pray pass your pain. Push pass the fear of not seeing a change and put into practice all you know God is currently using to prepare you. Put into practice your faith walk, talk and action. Put into practice some #portioncontrol of how much you will allow people, places and projects to negatively impact your positive and progressive process and path. Put into practice the mind, mood and motion that is needed to handle the new season and level God has purposed for you. Start today and don't turn back...the best is still to come.

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